Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
A Peaceable Walk With the Children of Men..
This line comes from the quote on my blog header. I've been thinking about this alot lately as it has had application in several areas of my present days.
Over the past couple of weeks my brother, sister and I have been sorting our parent's temporal belongings. I have heard from many that this can be a challenging experience and tests the relationships of siblings. In my case, there was only peace. I don't think for a moment feelings were hurt in any way. I know my parents are pleased with what has taken place as they look upon the world they left and have watched how their children have dealt peaceably with one another.
In another set of circumstances this verse from Moroni lays heavy upon my heart as I am called upon yet again to find this virtue and apply the crucial principles. I find myself in this space more than I ever thought possible for one soul. I am troubled with a heavy decision and know that no progress can happen until I come to a peaceable place within.
As I look back upon previous posts I see a thread that has been present in my walk. A quote that I posted some time back struck me hard today. Here's a re-post:
The greatest need of this old world today is peace. The turbulent storms of hate, of enmity, of distrust, and of sin are threatening to wreck humanity. It is time for men—true men—to dedicate their lives to God, and to cry with the spirit and power of the Christ, ‘Peace, be still…. ‘ (Mark 4:39.)” (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, p.295).
I pray for a stillness and peace to lay a gentle blanket upon my soul and wrap me tenderly in a resolve stronger than I have had before. That no matter the out-come of the decision made -- peace, truth, and a stillness that connects me to the healing balm of the Master's touch will strengthen me and help me through.
Over the past couple of weeks my brother, sister and I have been sorting our parent's temporal belongings. I have heard from many that this can be a challenging experience and tests the relationships of siblings. In my case, there was only peace. I don't think for a moment feelings were hurt in any way. I know my parents are pleased with what has taken place as they look upon the world they left and have watched how their children have dealt peaceably with one another.
In another set of circumstances this verse from Moroni lays heavy upon my heart as I am called upon yet again to find this virtue and apply the crucial principles. I find myself in this space more than I ever thought possible for one soul. I am troubled with a heavy decision and know that no progress can happen until I come to a peaceable place within.
As I look back upon previous posts I see a thread that has been present in my walk. A quote that I posted some time back struck me hard today. Here's a re-post:
The greatest need of this old world today is peace. The turbulent storms of hate, of enmity, of distrust, and of sin are threatening to wreck humanity. It is time for men—true men—to dedicate their lives to God, and to cry with the spirit and power of the Christ, ‘Peace, be still…. ‘ (Mark 4:39.)” (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, p.295).
I pray for a stillness and peace to lay a gentle blanket upon my soul and wrap me tenderly in a resolve stronger than I have had before. That no matter the out-come of the decision made -- peace, truth, and a stillness that connects me to the healing balm of the Master's touch will strengthen me and help me through.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Farewell Mom and Dad
Loss and grief have become my constant companions so far this year. Before the year was much more than 21 days old my father passed through the veil into the spirit world. Now 19 days into February and mom is gone on as well. It is hard for the soul to gather around this kind of pain and loss.
Now as I wander about my parent's eathly home, rummaging amoung the belongings of their former life there is much to do and much more to ponder upon. My parents are wonderful people, my mom in particular. And I am wondering how I will put all these material possessions and all the memories into a place that will carry me forward until we meet again.
As difficult as it will be to put my mom into the ground for her body to await the resurrection and reunion of her spirit, it will be equally difficult to close up this home that has been a refuge to many for 31 years. As we go through the house, taking bits and pieces of Wes and Charlene and spreading it amoung those of us who are left behind I hope and pray that we take more than just the material pieces.
For my parents were much, much more. Mom, in patricular, was a wonderful example of compassion and charity. As Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my mother." This statement is very true for me. The example my mom set as a servant in the kingdom laid a foundation for the service I render in my own part of the vineyard. The example mom was to me as a mother and homemaker carried forward into my home. My husband and children are blessed by the foods and traditions of my childhood. And so it should be. And so I ever pray that this legacy will carry forward into the generations. No possession can be more valueable than the legacy of righteous parents and the gifts of the gospel that were lived and taught in a child's home.
I sat at mom's bedside during her final earthly hours, my heart wishing she could stay while at the same time praying her passing to be swift and peaceful. My mind traveled rappidly between the questions of; "How will we go on without her?" "What will happen to the glue that has kept this family connected these many years?" "What will passing through the veil be like for her?" "And, what will her life be like there?" I prayed for the gift of being with her as she left this world to progess into the world to come. It was a bitter-sweet answer that I received. Gladness and sorrow are interesting companions.
Four days later my mind still clings to that day, to that hour, that moment and to all the unanswered questions that remain with the grief. There can't be anything more comforting to these experiences than the knowledge and testimony I have of the Plan of Salvation. As I stretch to increase my faith to go forward. As I stretch to increase my trust in the Lord and accept His will I know in time, all will be well.
Farewell Mom and Dad. Thank you for the life your gave to me and to all of us.
Now as I wander about my parent's eathly home, rummaging amoung the belongings of their former life there is much to do and much more to ponder upon. My parents are wonderful people, my mom in particular. And I am wondering how I will put all these material possessions and all the memories into a place that will carry me forward until we meet again.
As difficult as it will be to put my mom into the ground for her body to await the resurrection and reunion of her spirit, it will be equally difficult to close up this home that has been a refuge to many for 31 years. As we go through the house, taking bits and pieces of Wes and Charlene and spreading it amoung those of us who are left behind I hope and pray that we take more than just the material pieces.
For my parents were much, much more. Mom, in patricular, was a wonderful example of compassion and charity. As Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my mother." This statement is very true for me. The example my mom set as a servant in the kingdom laid a foundation for the service I render in my own part of the vineyard. The example mom was to me as a mother and homemaker carried forward into my home. My husband and children are blessed by the foods and traditions of my childhood. And so it should be. And so I ever pray that this legacy will carry forward into the generations. No possession can be more valueable than the legacy of righteous parents and the gifts of the gospel that were lived and taught in a child's home.
I sat at mom's bedside during her final earthly hours, my heart wishing she could stay while at the same time praying her passing to be swift and peaceful. My mind traveled rappidly between the questions of; "How will we go on without her?" "What will happen to the glue that has kept this family connected these many years?" "What will passing through the veil be like for her?" "And, what will her life be like there?" I prayed for the gift of being with her as she left this world to progess into the world to come. It was a bitter-sweet answer that I received. Gladness and sorrow are interesting companions.
Four days later my mind still clings to that day, to that hour, that moment and to all the unanswered questions that remain with the grief. There can't be anything more comforting to these experiences than the knowledge and testimony I have of the Plan of Salvation. As I stretch to increase my faith to go forward. As I stretch to increase my trust in the Lord and accept His will I know in time, all will be well.
Farewell Mom and Dad. Thank you for the life your gave to me and to all of us.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Keep Calm and Carry On
Life is anything but calm these days so I had to chuckle at the sign I saw in the store yesterday while shopping for a few things for the house. The sign was a large canvas piece painted pink. Front and center was a crown, through the crown, flowing across the board was the statement; 'Keep Calm -- And Carry On'
I love this. I love anything that speaks of clamness. Especially these days. Especially in the latter-days that seem to be showing its signs everywhere. For some time, I have lived a particular type of chaos. The kind where the Adversary stirs contention in the hearts of man. In my case, its the man(men) within my home. Its subtle at first, as will all his shenanigans. Then like a blow to the gut you realize a serious crisis has occurred and your foundation is shaken. Suddenly a craving for peace and for calmness becomes the main focus of daily life.
In times like this you turn to the only source of peace, the Savior, Jesus Christ.
The words to this hymn express my feelings perfectly:
Be Still My Soul
1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
I love this. I love anything that speaks of clamness. Especially these days. Especially in the latter-days that seem to be showing its signs everywhere. For some time, I have lived a particular type of chaos. The kind where the Adversary stirs contention in the hearts of man. In my case, its the man(men) within my home. Its subtle at first, as will all his shenanigans. Then like a blow to the gut you realize a serious crisis has occurred and your foundation is shaken. Suddenly a craving for peace and for calmness becomes the main focus of daily life.
In times like this you turn to the only source of peace, the Savior, Jesus Christ.
The words to this hymn express my feelings perfectly:
Be Still My Soul
1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.
3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Disturbance in the Force!
I think that is what you call it when one of your children get married and you aren't quite ready for it to happen.
Weddings, though stressful by nature, are supposed to be grand occassions full of excitement, hope and a fulfillment of dreams. My recent experience with a wedding was not one of this nature. It left me a bit unsettled (hence the disturbance) and concerned. It has also given me a grand opportunity to pray and to apply some principles of faith for this dear child of mine and his new bride.
Before I go on confusing anyone I want to state that my son's wife is a darling young lady that I grew to love quickly. It didn't take long in our getting aquainted period for me to cause her a few bumps due to my beliefs and values and hopes for my son and the differences she and I share. She's been forebearing and I pray forgiving. My desire is for her happiness as well as my son's.
The fact of the matter is, marriage is one of our greatest life challenges. You hope that amid those challenges come many blessings and joys. I want that for both of these sweet young people. I see already how the differences of these two lives have the potential for difficulty. My prayer is that the tests of life will make them stronger and more in love than the day they married.
I hope, that after some time what has caused a disturbance for me will settle in too. I read a sign the other day that speaks to me (I'll paraphrase and hope to run across the author at some point to give proper credit) 'Its not going the distance that is difficult, but that first step into the unknown.' I hope this is the case for all of us as we go into this next season of life.
Weddings, though stressful by nature, are supposed to be grand occassions full of excitement, hope and a fulfillment of dreams. My recent experience with a wedding was not one of this nature. It left me a bit unsettled (hence the disturbance) and concerned. It has also given me a grand opportunity to pray and to apply some principles of faith for this dear child of mine and his new bride.
Before I go on confusing anyone I want to state that my son's wife is a darling young lady that I grew to love quickly. It didn't take long in our getting aquainted period for me to cause her a few bumps due to my beliefs and values and hopes for my son and the differences she and I share. She's been forebearing and I pray forgiving. My desire is for her happiness as well as my son's.
The fact of the matter is, marriage is one of our greatest life challenges. You hope that amid those challenges come many blessings and joys. I want that for both of these sweet young people. I see already how the differences of these two lives have the potential for difficulty. My prayer is that the tests of life will make them stronger and more in love than the day they married.
I hope, that after some time what has caused a disturbance for me will settle in too. I read a sign the other day that speaks to me (I'll paraphrase and hope to run across the author at some point to give proper credit) 'Its not going the distance that is difficult, but that first step into the unknown.' I hope this is the case for all of us as we go into this next season of life.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Disconnected From.....
Six months to the day since the last time I spoke to my friend Regina and today I run across and e-mail from her. What a weird and disconnected sort of feeling that stirred up.
I've just recently gotten to the place where I can drive home from work and not turn to look and wonder if she's home when I pass by her former street.
I'm still not over the sudden reflection of her in a person that resembles her as I wander through a store while shopping. Weird huh? No one actually looks 'like' her, but something suddenly overcomes me. Something suddenly parts our two dimensions of time and we connect.
This might be weird, except that I consider myself a spiritual person; one not unfamiliar with help and connections from beyond the veil. It always takes me by surprise and I doubt that even those more in tune than I are ever prepared for such an experience. I'm still trying to learn what to do with these experiences.
I've noticed something else -- even though time has progressed along; meaning that six months have passed since the death of my dear friend. It is a very slow passage and the sense and feel of time has changed for me with this loss. Its peculiar and causes me again to sense a disconnection from ..... ????
These past six months have been the most difficult for me personally. Some of my greatest trials have taken place during these past months. With Regina gone I feel lost and have no one to confide in and counsel with. I've no one to go to the temple with and talk about deeper things.
There have been so many times when I've wanted to see if her phone would pick up if I called the number or if an e-mail would be replied to if I sent one alone. Though our realms are separated we have not and it is a pecular thing to experience this so frequently.
What do I do with this?
I've just recently gotten to the place where I can drive home from work and not turn to look and wonder if she's home when I pass by her former street.
I'm still not over the sudden reflection of her in a person that resembles her as I wander through a store while shopping. Weird huh? No one actually looks 'like' her, but something suddenly overcomes me. Something suddenly parts our two dimensions of time and we connect.
This might be weird, except that I consider myself a spiritual person; one not unfamiliar with help and connections from beyond the veil. It always takes me by surprise and I doubt that even those more in tune than I are ever prepared for such an experience. I'm still trying to learn what to do with these experiences.
I've noticed something else -- even though time has progressed along; meaning that six months have passed since the death of my dear friend. It is a very slow passage and the sense and feel of time has changed for me with this loss. Its peculiar and causes me again to sense a disconnection from ..... ????
These past six months have been the most difficult for me personally. Some of my greatest trials have taken place during these past months. With Regina gone I feel lost and have no one to confide in and counsel with. I've no one to go to the temple with and talk about deeper things.
There have been so many times when I've wanted to see if her phone would pick up if I called the number or if an e-mail would be replied to if I sent one alone. Though our realms are separated we have not and it is a pecular thing to experience this so frequently.
What do I do with this?
Monday, May 17, 2010
The Most Un-Peaceful Kind of Phone Call
Here's the scene --
You are out on a Saturday afternoon, running errands when the phone rings. On the other end is your son, his voice is unsteady and fearful. The words he is telling you are already registering panic in you and adrenalin begins to flow. It went like this for me; "Mom, mom, help, help, I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding, I'm ok, but I don't know what to do. My GF is hurt and ....." I'm not even sure it all registered. Certainly the part about him bleeding did and my heart sank, my hands started to shake and my little dd in the back seat started to cry. I was trying to focus on my driving and the words my brain wasn't totally registering and wait...think....I needed to tell him what to do. Call 911.
It was the kind of afternoon phone call a mom never wants to get. Suddenly what was a peaceful day at work and a little playful afternoon shopping with my dd turned into major panic.
I don't know if it is age and the passing of time or the blessing of this determination to be peaceful that made the difference for me that day (I think the latter). Surely there was enough emotion inside me and fear to make me go over the edge. Maybe it was trying to keep it under control for my dd. Another blessing, was the presence of mind (AKA a message from the Spirit) to call my DH. Not really knowing what I might be getting myself into once we got to where this family gathering that ran amuk was being held, I had to make sure my dd and I had protection, and help if necessary.
Another blessing; when we arrived the local authorities were there and my ds was up/walking around, bleeding stopped. Relief! (I could only imagine the scene I might encounter). He was out in a rural area, emergency services were far away, he was not with people of faith, and so anything could have happened in that environment. It wasn't pretty. I could tell he had a broken nose, but his face was in tact. More relief, and gratitude.
It took some time to convince him to come with me to get it looked at. There was an ambulence on the way -- we waited for that, but determined we could pass on those bills and take him ourselves as he was mobile enough.
Now a couple days later, as we deal with the medical issues and pain from the trauma, I am wondering what I can do to teach and assist this young, sometimes cavalier and impulsive spirit to learn to make better choices. To learn to seek out peace in his life and choose peaceable company to keep.
I am grateful for answered prayers, mostly those offered by my little dd while I was on the phone and trying to drive up and down hilly country roads to get to my injured son. I am grateful that issues didn't escalate and damage was minimal, under the circumstancs. I am grateful that peace and calmness came to me at a very unpeaceful time. Mosly, I am grateful for the knowledge that I know this place is a temporary home and should I loose someone precious to me I have the knowledge that their spirit would go home to a place of peace and to Father in Heaven. I am grateful, that this time, this trial, did not require that or require too much suffering. (I'm just not so sure we are out of the woods with this ds.)
You are out on a Saturday afternoon, running errands when the phone rings. On the other end is your son, his voice is unsteady and fearful. The words he is telling you are already registering panic in you and adrenalin begins to flow. It went like this for me; "Mom, mom, help, help, I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding, I'm ok, but I don't know what to do. My GF is hurt and ....." I'm not even sure it all registered. Certainly the part about him bleeding did and my heart sank, my hands started to shake and my little dd in the back seat started to cry. I was trying to focus on my driving and the words my brain wasn't totally registering and wait...think....I needed to tell him what to do. Call 911.
It was the kind of afternoon phone call a mom never wants to get. Suddenly what was a peaceful day at work and a little playful afternoon shopping with my dd turned into major panic.
I don't know if it is age and the passing of time or the blessing of this determination to be peaceful that made the difference for me that day (I think the latter). Surely there was enough emotion inside me and fear to make me go over the edge. Maybe it was trying to keep it under control for my dd. Another blessing, was the presence of mind (AKA a message from the Spirit) to call my DH. Not really knowing what I might be getting myself into once we got to where this family gathering that ran amuk was being held, I had to make sure my dd and I had protection, and help if necessary.
Another blessing; when we arrived the local authorities were there and my ds was up/walking around, bleeding stopped. Relief! (I could only imagine the scene I might encounter). He was out in a rural area, emergency services were far away, he was not with people of faith, and so anything could have happened in that environment. It wasn't pretty. I could tell he had a broken nose, but his face was in tact. More relief, and gratitude.
It took some time to convince him to come with me to get it looked at. There was an ambulence on the way -- we waited for that, but determined we could pass on those bills and take him ourselves as he was mobile enough.
Now a couple days later, as we deal with the medical issues and pain from the trauma, I am wondering what I can do to teach and assist this young, sometimes cavalier and impulsive spirit to learn to make better choices. To learn to seek out peace in his life and choose peaceable company to keep.
I am grateful for answered prayers, mostly those offered by my little dd while I was on the phone and trying to drive up and down hilly country roads to get to my injured son. I am grateful that issues didn't escalate and damage was minimal, under the circumstancs. I am grateful that peace and calmness came to me at a very unpeaceful time. Mosly, I am grateful for the knowledge that I know this place is a temporary home and should I loose someone precious to me I have the knowledge that their spirit would go home to a place of peace and to Father in Heaven. I am grateful, that this time, this trial, did not require that or require too much suffering. (I'm just not so sure we are out of the woods with this ds.)
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