Blogs are harder to keep up with than I thought. Especially ones you plan to do on a daily basis. Some time towards the end of January lots of things became a bigger priority.
Personal issues, may be one of them. Along with trials of homeschooling a strong-willed child, trying to keep my business running and dealing with all of the household tasks as well. My DH is going to school right now and working two jobs. It stresses an already stressed relationship. An 18 year old son (today 19 years) struggling to figure out his life brings a dynamic that is often challenging.
I don't mean for this to be a complaint. Each trial brings blessings and lessons. I'm not a super-mom though and trials are difficult. They keep me from always having the time for personal projects that I am trying to work towards, like this blog. It has been heavy on my mind the past couple of days -- this personal walk with Christ/daily gratitude/peaceable walk journey that I am trying to keep going. Still, I ponder issues and feelings daily even though I don't get a chance to jot them down here at the computer. Then the other day my visiting teacher, from church, brings me the following quote:
'My peace is like a shaft of golden light shining on you continuously. During days of bright shunshine, it may blend in with your surroundings. On darker days, my peace stands out in sharp contrast to your circumstance. See times of darkness as opportunities for my light to shine in transcendent splendor. I am training you to practice peace that overpowers darkness. Collaborate with me in this training. Do not grow weary and lose heart."
What a powerful message. How thankful I am to this dear sister for being in tune with the spirit enough to bring this much needful message from the Lord. I was loosing heart. I as wondering if I could ever get to a place where I didn't just talk about it or ponder it, but that I had learned enough tools to apply it and feel it at a core level.
I've been keeping the index card she wrote the message on at my desk at the shop. I read it daily and try to look deep into the words for messages the Lord wants me to hear. I remember the day I was sitting in Sunday School, my mind on a few different issues. A scripture was being read, (the one posted at the top of this blog) and some discussion about the concept of being peaceable was being tossed about the room. I wasn't as plugged in as I usually am. Some how, in spite of what was rummaging around inside me, the spirit spoke to my heart about this principle and how important it was for me to study this and to understant it. I knew then, some time in the beginning of last December, that this was to be a mission I would undertake. I didn't know then, nor do I know now where this path will take me. What I do know, is that the Lord wants me on it.
