...after spending almost three month's in my parent's home I am now back in my own little world. Three months changes everything. What was in place when you left is no longer. People fill the void you created in your leaving and move on so that when you come back you aren't sure if you can squeeze back in or not.
My first week back filled up with lunches, catching up with friends and returning to worship and fulfill my callings in my home ward. This was great and even exciting. However, this second week home challeges the core of my character meter as quiet days linger until new norms and patterns fill up what used to be.
The biggest change will be not re-opening my scrapbook store. This will greatly impact my social life while opening up opportunities for my DD (baking, craft work, homeschool groups, etc) which will bring blessings yet to be grateful for. However, it will change what was my comfort zone for so many years.
My first few days home filled up with opportunity to clean, organize and begin to put myself back into my home. My DH did OK(?), its just not the same as when I am here. I also brought back items from my parent's home to incorporate into mine. While at my parent's their belongings were quickly being redistributed or removed leaving that space feeling more and more empty. My home has a sense of life to it. I noticed this almost immediately and wondered long about those two stark contrasts.
This week some baking helps fill space and time. Today DD and I made cheese bread, a recipe of my mom's sister that we used to make together alot. (Note to self: send Aunt B. an e-mail to thank her.) DD and I made plans for a few more creative adventures in the kitchen over the next few weeks.
I went down to scope out one of my nemeseses -- my basement (the other, my garage, will wait until cooler fall days as the heat has already hit here). I was relieved, happily relieved, to see that I might be able to actually handle it. My big summer project is to organize that space, making room for what used to be my store. Its a good summer project keep me in the coolest part of my home and giving me a good, long, involved project to fill my days.
It isn't easy to hang on to motivation during all of this. One step at a time -- one day -- one project and soon what is new will become the norm and there will be a settling and peace that comes from all I have gone through to get to there.
