Approaching Year's End

As I approach the end of the year and realize that my un-met goal is not a total loss, I have learned through the journey. I am realizing the restoral of peace to a troubled soul will also be a process. As I continue on this walk, learning to 'obtain sufficient hope' and learning to be a 'peaceable follower of Christ' parts of the process will be easy and others not so much. I'm learning that burying swords is going to add to my peace but are harder to accomplish that other traits and goals. I'm learning that with some it is easier to turn the other cheek. Yet I struggle to do so with a particular few.

I do believe more strongly in my quest than I did at the beginning of the year. As I said, it was difficult to keep up with it all on the level that I wanted to. Homeschooling and trying to keep my business going in the down-turned economy was always a detracter from my desire to journal and blog and record the thoughts and changes I was trying to have take place. Still, two steps forward are better than not begun.

2010 hedges closer and as I extend my goal to learn to have a more peaceable walk I am in earnest, desiring to be taught by the Spirit of the Lord what this means to Him for me. I know saying that it means more test and more trials. I pray for strenght to bear them. As I have seen others struggle with their trials this year I have been encouraged in bearing burdens. I have learned lessons that I hope and pray I'll be able to call upon when and if a time comes my way where it is just too much.

Peace, be still....

Following Peace and Holiness

Following peace and holiness is attending the baptism of your daughter's friend and knowing that in just a few weeks it will be your daughter's turn. Watching her be excited for her friend, knowing her turn is close. Listening to talks about promises and covenants and about being washed clean. President Packer once wrote that being 'washed clean' is the greatest gift. It is a part of our peaceable walk to follow in the example of the Savior in baptism. It is an holy act and brings us to a place of holiness. Now to continue the journey...

Follow Peace - And Holiness

More from blogs on the web that help restore peace to my soul.

It was not a peaceable week last week, nor was my walk that peaceable. But my studies today have shown me some light.

From Hebrews: THE EPISTLE OF PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE HEBREWS - CHAPTER 12
Whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth—God is the Father of spirits—To see God, follow peace and holiness—Exalted saints belong to the Church of the Firstborn.

From Me: To see God, follow peace and holiness.

More from Hebrews:
1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him cendured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.

From me: Faint in my mind = a loss of hope or of peace (or of holiness, a new addition to my quest). Run the race with patience keeping my eyes upon The Finisher.

Peace is - starting a new school year

I am sitting at my scrapbook store today planning school. I should have done it last week, but I was used car shopping. There is something re-newing about the beginning of a school year. Maybe it is all my years teaching school that stirs anticipation. Maybe it is just the comfort of scheduled days and nights and the determination to stick to that schedule so we can get through (summer is way more sporatic). No matter, as I sit and ponder and think through where I must begin and where I want to end I usually come upon some wonderful ideas via all the great resources on the web.

Today it is blog reading for me. Here are some great and comforting quotes and scriptures that I came across today.

From a blog I found called "His Grace to Me" she uses the tagline: "...and His grace to me was not without effect." ~ ICor. 15:10. The thought was worth pondering, but not recalling this phrase I went to my King James Version to check the actual scripture that I would use for that reference. It is this:

1 Cor 15:10 But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

From a blog called "A Lady in Training" the tagline: Learning to be led by the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23)... From the KJV Gal 5: 22 But the afruit of the bSpirit is clove, djoy, epeace, flongsuffering, ggentleness, goodness, hfaith,
23 aMeekness, btemperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the aaffections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

I love verse 25.

From a blog about promoting beautiful womanhood is a section about teaching children well: Teach Your Children Well
Rearing Lords and Ladies
We are "ruled-rulers," as T. David Gordon termed it; we must act the part or disgrace the One who made us in His image. As we learn to be like Him, we are responsible to teach our children to do the same.


Yes, it is in my peaceable walk that I find joy in teaching my children to walk uprightly before the Lord. To love and honor what is good and noble and to shun the world and all the perversions that are around us. We must fight for our families and for the preservation of our right as parents to instill in them what we hold to be sacred and true.

Today is not a peaceful day - - -

My friend has cancer.

She has had it a while and has been doing amazingly well.

But today, I found out that the cancer was in a place that the doctor's hadn't tested.

I just want to cry.

I want to plead up into the heavens for mercy for her.


The day before yesterday a friend's granddaughter was born.

And this is the way we soujourn upon the earth.

In the words of Hillary Weeks -

"You Give"

You Give me sight
When I can't see.
You give me breathe
When I cant breathe
And You give me love
And You give me peace
And You always seem to give
Just what I need

You take my doubt
And replace it with truth
You take my fear
So all I can see is You
And You take me by the hand
You see to my soul
And You take just what I need

Chorus-

You give and take away
And refine me day by day
As You lead me through the bitter and sweet
I am trusting You to make me complete
Though You see the heartache
You're sending Your sweet grace
A You give
and You take

--

You give me strength
And You give me life
You give me hope
And You give me light
You take my pain
And You take my shame
You bless me to see the give and take
Is just what I need

--chorus--

Please send Your perfect grace
As You give
And You take



May God bless you R and little baby J as he gives and he takes!

Peaceable Thoughts and Quotes

If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.
Lao Tzu

Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.
Albert Einstein


What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."
Mother Teresa


If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work."
Thich Naht Hanh

Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal."
Martin Luther King, Jr

This is the way of peace: overcome evil with good, and falsehood with truth, and hatred with love."
Peace Pilgrim

I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their happiness or satisfaction. Yet true happiness comes from a sense of peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved through the cultivation of altruism, of love and compassion, and elimination of ignorance, selfishness, and greed."
Dalai Lama


Peace comes from being able to contribute the best that we have, and all that we are, toward creating a world that supports everyone. But it is also securing the space for others to contribute the best that they have and all that they are.
Hafsat Abiola

Things that are not peaceable...

Broken, leaky washers and old cars that over heat and have a hundred things wrong with them are not on my list of peaceable items to seek after.

During the past several months we've been dealing with what started out as a crack in a hose on my old truck. We have babied her along now 22 years. It still amazes me to think about it -- but its a Nissan -- what can I say ;)! Aside from a few small minor personal items, this is the biggest piece of property that I've kept for this length of time. While discussing what to do with the dead thing (aside from the appropriate old vehicle funeral ;) ) we determined that I don't have to make my mind up for a year an a half (tee hee!! that is the length of time I have left on the tags). Why did I buy two year plates anyway? Sheesh!! Its been weird not to see it parked in front of the house. It has been a part of my life for so long now. Like an old friend -- isn't that silly.

We do have emotional ties to our vehicles. Lots of memories of family trips, long personal drives to no where when I was sad or lonely. Memories of my son and I driving around in it when he was a little boy. He would be pretending to drive and I'd reach over and yank on his pretend stearing wheel to make him crash. We'd laugh and laugh.

I remember a time when my son was small. We would put his car seat in the center poition on the bench seat. Hubby and I crammed in on either side of him. This one particular day, with feet and legs a bit longer and stronger, he reached out and kicked at the wiper arm and broke it in two. My husband was quite upset about it. We repaired it and weren't the worse for wear. From that point on we kept a vigil on the little guys legs/feet when the three of us were traveling together.

For most of my married life, this was the 'good car.' It is no wonder a lot of our memories involve trips in it. If our little daughter hadn't have come along I am sure this separation and loss would be much bigger. I would not have had the need to get a 'family car' and hand my litle pickup over to my husband to use as the 'commute vehicle.'

Life is full of bumps. I don't even want to go into the one about the washer. Right now I'm crossing my fingers big time that that lurking third deamon won't ever appear. I was visiting on the the phone with a friend this morning discussing theories. We had a big laugh over our mutual theory that these break-downs happen in threes. We've had the car, the washer and we are waiting...........

This same friend this morning in her comforting way told me she was so sorry I was having all these frustrations. I blew it off at the time, but the reality is, I am not frustrated by it. It is a bump, its not fun. I am praying there isn't that third one -- but I am not wrapped in knots as I have been during other trials.

I have come to find peace in life and to not let trials wind me up. I've not always been this way and I have to say -- this is freeing. Worry was my contant companion. Plaguing questions of 'what will we do?' would be asked in my mind over and over and over.....to upset stomaches and testy bowels. Worry does affect you physically too. Stress isn't good on your health. At times depression would set in. The bigger the trial the more the depression and the more the pain. It was a vicious cycle.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still concerned about how we are going to arrange our money to buy a commute car. Times are hard now with the change in the political and economical scene. Loans are hard to come by now and we still have a bit of time left on one car payment. This trial is all about faith. But faith should help comfort and bring peace. This is my lesson for the month...and my gratitude.

More helpful words...

Lately I have been doing a lot of reading on how to be more peaceful. Much of it has been helpful, but this one stands out to me. It is a conference address by Elder Quentin L Cook. I'm pasting most of his talk here on my blog so that I can re-read it readily as I need to be reminded of this counsel.

**********************************
Each of Us Will Face Trials and Hardships in This Life
The incident I just recounted, while a difficult travel situation, was brief, and there were no lasting consequences. However, many of the trials and hardships we encounter in life are severe and appear to have lasting consequences. Each of us will experience some of these during the vicissitudes of life. Many listening to this conference are experiencing situations of a most serious nature at this very moment.

We resonate with the Prophet Joseph’s petition after he had been falsely accused and imprisoned in Liberty Jail for months: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”

The Lord’s answer is reassuring:

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”1

One of the essential doctrines illuminated by the Restoration is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass.2 This life is not always easy, nor was it meant to be; it is a time of testing and proving. As we read in Abraham, “And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.”3 Elder Harold B. Lee taught, “Sometimes the things that are best for us and the things that bring eternal rewards seem at the moment to be the most bitter, and the things forbidden are ofttimes the things which seem to be the more desirable.”4

The novel A Tale of Two Cities opens with the oft-quoted line “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”5 The scriptures make it clear that each generation has its own version of best and worst of times. We are all subject to the conflict between good and evil6 and the contrast between light and dark, hope and despair. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained, “The sharp, side-by-side contrast of the sweet and the bitter is essential until the very end of this brief, mortal experience.”7 We know from our doctrine that good will overcome evil,8 and those who repent and are sanctified shall be given eternal life.9

Near the time Dickens was writing his novel, the heroic efforts of the early Saints who settled the Intermountain West were occurring.

Even with their common faith, the Saints had experienced much hardship and approached the evacuation of Nauvoo with very different expectations. Some looked forward with optimism, others with concern. Two excellent examples are presented by Helen Mar Whitney and Bathsheba Smith. Both have left compelling records of their feelings.

Sister Whitney recorded her expectations upon leaving Nauvoo: “I will pack away all my little ribbons, collars and laces, etc., for we are going where we cannot purchase them. We are going out from the world to live beyond the Rocky Mountains where none others will wish to go. There will be neither rich nor poor among us, and we will have none but the honest and virtuous.”10 Sister Whitney’s words resonate with an idealistic optimism.

Sister Bathsheba Smith’s recorded feelings are also full of faith but evidence some trepidation. She had seen the mobs arrayed against the Saints in Missouri and was present at the death of the Apostle David W. Patten.

Recalling the evacuation of Nauvoo, she wrote: “My last act in that precious spot was to tidy the rooms, sweep up the floor and set the broom in its accustomed place behind the door. Then with emotions in my heart I gently closed the door and faced an unknown future, faced it with faith in God and with no less assurance of the ultimate establishment of the Gospel in the West and of its true enduring principles, than I had felt in those trying scenes in Missouri.”11

Both of these LDS pioneer women remained strong in the gospel throughout their lives and provided wonderful service in building Zion, but they faced many additional trials and hardships, which they both faithfully endured.12 Despite Sister Whitney’s optimism, her first three children died at or near birth—two of them during her extended exodus from Nauvoo to Salt Lake.13 Sister Whitney has blessed us with her writings in defense of our faith and was the mother of the Apostle Orson F. Whitney.

Sister Smith recorded the poverty, sickness, and privation that the Saints suffered as they made their way west.14 In March of 1847 her mother passed away, and the next month her second son, John, was born. Her record of that is brief: “He was my last child, and [he] lived only four hours.”15 Later in her life she was the matron of the Salt Lake Temple and the fourth general president of the Relief Society.

We are deeply touched by the hardships that the early Saints endured. Brigham Young captured this somewhat humorously in February 1856 when he stated: “I might say something with regard to the hard times. You know that I have told you that if any one was afraid of starving to death, let him leave, and go where there is plenty. I do not apprehend the least danger of starving, for until we eat up the last mule, from the tip of the ear to the end of the fly whipper, I am not afraid of starving to death.”

He went on to say, “There are many people who cannot now get employment, but the spring is going to open upon us soon, and we are not going to suffer any more than what is for our good.”16

The challenges we face today are in their own way comparable to challenges of the past. The recent economic crisis has caused significant concern throughout the world. Employment and financial problems are not unusual. Many people have physical and mental health challenges. Others deal with marital problems or wayward children. Some have lost loved ones. Addictions and inappropriate or harmful propensities cause heartache. Whatever the source of the trials, they cause significant pain and suffering for individuals and those who love them.

We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development.17 We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.18 It is also true that every cloud we see doesn’t result in rain. Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma’s teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and “succor his people according to their infirmities.”19

The scriptures and modern prophets have made it clear that there will be lean years and plentiful years.20 The Lord expects us to be prepared for many of the challenges that come. He proclaims, “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.”21 Part of the trauma I experienced crossing the Sierras in that blizzard many years ago occurred because I was not prepared for this sudden, unexpected event. One of the great blessings of the scriptures is that they warn us of challenges that are unexpected but often occur. We would do well to be prepared for them. One form of preparation is to keep the commandments.

In numerous places in the Book of Mormon, the people were promised that they would prosper in the land if they would keep the commandments.22 This promise is often accompanied by the warning that if they do not keep the commandments of God, they shall be cut off from His presence.23 Clearly, having the blessings of the Spirit—the ministration of the Holy Ghost—is an essential element to truly prosper in the land and to be prepared.

Regardless of our trials, with the abundance we have today, we would be ungrateful if we did not appreciate our blessings. Despite the obvious nature of the hardships the pioneers were experiencing, President Brigham Young talked about the significance of gratitude. He stated, “I do not know of any, excepting the unpardonable sin, that is greater than the sin of ingratitude.”24

Gratitude for the Savior and His Atonement
Our foremost gratitude should be for the Savior and His Atonement. We are aware that many who are listening to this conference are experiencing trials and hardships of such intensity that the underlying feeling in their hearts as they approach our Father in Heaven in prayer is “Hope ya know, I’m having a hard time.”

Let me share with you the true account of one sister, Ellen Yates from Grantsville, Utah. Early in October, 10 years ago, she kissed her husband, Leon, good-bye as he left to go to work in Salt Lake City. This would be the last time she would see Leon alive. He had a collision with a young man 20 years of age who was late for his first job and had tried to pass a slower vehicle, resulting in a head-on collision that killed them both instantly. Sister Yates said that after two compassionate highway patrolmen told her the news, she plunged into shock and grief.

She records, “As I tried to look ahead in life, all I could see was darkness and pain.” It turned out that her husband’s best friend was the bishop of the young man’s ward. The bishop called Sister Yates and told her that the young man’s mother, Jolayne Willmore, wanted to talk with her. She remembers “being shocked because I was so centered on my grief and pain that I had not even thought about the young man and his family. I suddenly realized that here was a mother who was in as much or more pain than I was. I quickly gave my permission … for a visit.”

When Brother and Sister Willmore arrived, they expressed their great sorrow that their son was responsible for Leon’s death and presented her with a picture of the Savior holding a little girl in His arms. Sister Yates says, “When times become too hard to bear, I look at this picture and remember that Christ knows me personally. He knows my loneliness and my trials.” One scripture that comforts Sister Yates is “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.”25

Each October Sister Yates and Sister Willmore (both of whom are here together in the Conference Center today) go to the temple together and offer thanks for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, for the plan of salvation, for eternal families, and for the covenants that bind together husbands and wives and families on both sides of the veil. Sister Yates concludes, “Through this trial, I have felt the love of my Father in Heaven and my Savior in greater abundance than I had ever felt before.” She testifies that “there is no grief, no pain, no sickness so great that the Atonement of Christ and the love of Christ cannot heal.”26 What a wonderful example of love and forgiveness these two sisters have demonstrated. It has allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to be efficacious in their lives.

Think of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane during the Atonement process, suffering agony so great that He bled from every pore.27 His cry to His Father included the word Abba.28 This might be interpreted as the cry of a son who is in distress to his father: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”29 I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all of the trials and hardships that any of us will encounter in this life. At times when we may feel to say, “Hope you know, I had a hard time,” we can be assured that He is there and we are safe in His loving arms.

When our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, was asked on his birthday this past August what would be the ideal gift that members worldwide could give him, he said without a moment’s hesitation, “Find someone who is having a hard time, … and do something for them.”30

I, with you, am eternally grateful to Jesus Christ, the rescuer of mankind. I bear witness that He is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Lyrics to Where Can I Turn For Peace...

Where Can I Turn For Peace? Where is my solace?
When other sources cease to make me whole.
When with a wounded heart, anger or malace,
I draw myself apart, searching my soul.

Where when my aching grows, where when I languish,
Where in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand, to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand, He only one.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching.
In my Gethsemane, Savior and friend.
Gentle the peace he finds, for my beseaching,
Constant He is and kind, Love without end.

(written by Emma Lou Thayne)

Where Can I Turn For Peace...

A hymn entitled "Where Can I Turn for Peace" has been my mantra these past few months. Work has been hectic, tax season was upon me, two spring family birthdays and misc. other events have all taken a toll on my blogging. Still I have continued to work at search for a peaceable walk. I've had some failures and some successes. I've struggled and I've seen growth. I guess this is the whole point of this. I knew at the inception of this blog that I would come to periods where I just couldn't see to fit it in. I had to be ok with that. I knew my store and my homeschooling would take over at times. Ebb and flow, learn to ride the waves of life in a peaceable way. Be still during the times of stress. Be still. Continue to listen to the spirit guide and take mental notes. Written ones will have their turn again.

Yesterday at church we had a lesson on journal keeping. I wasn't much up to commenting (having a rough day physically with issues related to my gastric bypass) but I was moved to re-prioritize my record keeping. I have a tendency to be wordy. Some days just don't allow for that.

I need to really work on all the journaling I have on the little floppy drives. I've talked to my son about that -- so I'm part way there to accomplishing that goal. I'll feel much better updating my journals to more current technology. At some point I guess I'll figure out how to incorporate these blog records to my media storage files. For now, its enough and I am continuing on this path towards a peaceful life. I am finding the strength I need. I know I'll have bad moments and that is ok. My objective is to continue to seek for peace.

Has It Really Been 14 Days?

Blogs are harder to keep up with than I thought. Especially ones you plan to do on a daily basis. Some time towards the end of January lots of things became a bigger priority.

Personal issues, may be one of them. Along with trials of homeschooling a strong-willed child, trying to keep my business running and dealing with all of the household tasks as well. My DH is going to school right now and working two jobs. It stresses an already stressed relationship. An 18 year old son (today 19 years) struggling to figure out his life brings a dynamic that is often challenging.

I don't mean for this to be a complaint. Each trial brings blessings and lessons. I'm not a super-mom though and trials are difficult. They keep me from always having the time for personal projects that I am trying to work towards, like this blog. It has been heavy on my mind the past couple of days -- this personal walk with Christ/daily gratitude/peaceable walk journey that I am trying to keep going. Still, I ponder issues and feelings daily even though I don't get a chance to jot them down here at the computer. Then the other day my visiting teacher, from church, brings me the following quote:

'My peace is like a shaft of golden light shining on you continuously. During days of bright shunshine, it may blend in with your surroundings. On darker days, my peace stands out in sharp contrast to your circumstance. See times of darkness as opportunities for my light to shine in transcendent splendor. I am training you to practice peace that overpowers darkness. Collaborate with me in this training. Do not grow weary and lose heart."

What a powerful message. How thankful I am to this dear sister for being in tune with the spirit enough to bring this much needful message from the Lord. I was loosing heart. I as wondering if I could ever get to a place where I didn't just talk about it or ponder it, but that I had learned enough tools to apply it and feel it at a core level.

I've been keeping the index card she wrote the message on at my desk at the shop. I read it daily and try to look deep into the words for messages the Lord wants me to hear. I remember the day I was sitting in Sunday School, my mind on a few different issues. A scripture was being read, (the one posted at the top of this blog) and some discussion about the concept of being peaceable was being tossed about the room. I wasn't as plugged in as I usually am. Some how, in spite of what was rummaging around inside me, the spirit spoke to my heart about this principle and how important it was for me to study this and to understant it. I knew then, some time in the beginning of last December, that this was to be a mission I would undertake. I didn't know then, nor do I know now where this path will take me. What I do know, is that the Lord wants me on it.

Being Happy Through the Ups and Downs of LIfe

In my faith we speak often of being a happy people. I have often pondered about that when life can be so difficult and challenging. My walk through marriage has not been an easy one, nor has it been particularly happy. However, I have felt that one of my greatest gifts is that I do have a sense of joy and well being within myself. As a rule, I don't wake up mad or grumpy. I do have off days, from time to time, but that is not the norm for me. I can get on a soap box, for sure, or get upset at some injustice I feel. I can confidently say, the majority of people I come into contact with do not know when I am hurting or struggling. I don't wear my emotions on the outside to draw attention to my life's struggles. I know people like that and feel compassion for how life gets to them and in the same moment feel gratitude that that stumbling block is not my callenge. I just find happiness illusive in marriage and wonder what is wrong and why it is constantly this way.

Still.....I will continue on and try to give honor to my Father in Heaven and to those in my stewardships and to continue in gratitude all the days of my life. I may not ever get this walk right in this life. Thankfully I do not have to be perfect here -- only willing to try and to continue to do better.

Last Week's Walk and Gratitudes

(see the notes below on gratitude #15 regarding this picture)



Today's (January 19, 2009) gratitude, I suppose, should be about second chances. I was reminded yesterday by my bishop about a great principle taught regarding course correction (A Matter of a Few Degrees ). It is easy enough to get behind, but the longer you go before you get yourself back on track the wider the gap and the farther off course you become.





Last week, I certainly got off course. Days blended from one to another without time to make a written record of the things that were taking place or the thoughts that occupy my mind and heart. Today, before I get involved in my big project, I'll course correct and get back on track.


Today, I'm grateful for any chance that helps me continue down the path that I need to be on.





Gratitude 15: Thursday I had plans to post the picture of my gratitude. I've been thinking about this one for several days. This gratitude has to do with my daughter and her love of seeing things grow. She's been wanting to plant flowers and have a garden for as long as I can remember. She has always been a dirt digger (I'm an inside person, I work online, I read and while I love the outdoors -- it usually comes with too much heat for me) since I can remember. I'm grateful for her interests -- so that I can stretch. This picture (above), is one attempt (maybe a bit lame -- but for sure humorous) to get her something to grow.







Gratitude 16: Friday, I must say, I was not feeling especially grateful. The day was extremely cold. Sales have been down at the store this week due to the weather. It was the end of the week and I was tired and still behind. Today, about as much as I could muster -- was that at least when I got to work frozen, and in a bad mood (because the window wouldn't go down at the bank and I had to get out of the car at the drive-thru teller and hand her my deposit) that I could blast the heater at the store - because its covered in my lease and not something I have to worry how long or high I run it!





Gratitude 17: Saturday (and yes, I do think about these things each day -- not try to concot them at the last minute) I was thinking about being grateful for 'days off from school.' Saturday is fondly referred to as 'movie day' at work. We (my daughter and I) don't have any school work to do that day. Its the end of the week and we need a mental break (and I need something to occupy a child with so I can scrap). Movies in the DVD player of the laptop are a great blessing. Saturday we watched a great movie called "Secondhand Lions." Its is a great story about family and about values (especially for young boys -- but my daughter loves it too!). The layout turned out great, by the way, and it ended up being a great day.





Gratitude 18: Yesterday as I was driving to church my thought was that I was greatful for several things: 1. That it wasn't so cold out. 2. That my car has these amazing seat warmers (fondly referred to in my family as 'butt warmers'. 3. That there is a great stereo system in my car so that I can sing out loudly to my favorite church music while driving to church. I'd explain more on these gratitudes -- but I'm behind and working my way backwards. Hopefully there will be time another day for me to be more wordy.

Day 13 and 14

As you can tell Tuesday and much of today, Wednesday did not work out the way I had planned. There will be many hit and miss attempts at this process as I try to reflect on being peaceable and grateful as well as recording those reflections and changes.

I wish today I felt more peaceable. My husband stopped by my store today and try as I might I could not connect in the way either he or I wanted. He had an agenda that I put a demand on and we clashed. It is my biggest trial in life to be peaceable with him. I guess that is why I need this time this year, to teach myself what I am too stubborn (or maybe too hurt) to learn. Yet, learn I must to be what I want to be.

I found that image posted above on a blog that I follow. It was created by Julie Beck and has great significance to me today. As I ponder on the message "Woman of Stature.." I wonder what that might mean for me and what might be required of me to maintain the kind of stature that a peaceable woman would have.

Maybe today that position had a bit of crumbling around it. Maybe I did ok -- and it is just what and who I have to deal with. Something to reflect on, at least.

Today's Gratitude: Before I post today's gratitude, I want to save and come back to the one I had intended for yesterday. I have a particular image that I want to post for that one. One that makes me smile and I hope others too.

As for today: I am grateful for time. Time to ponder and to evaluate and to make adjustments. I know that it is not my purpose here to be perfect, but to learn to improve. I love President Hinckley's " a little more..." counsels. Be a little better. A little..there is a lot of hope in that and a lot of room to learn and to improve. Time - in time it will be more than a little, I hope. I time, it will be a grand improvement. In time, I will be the Woman of Stature I am now just trying to become.

Gratitude 11 & 12 of 365 and Walk Day 3

I don't usually get online on Sunday. I can see that my posts for Monday will likely contain two gratitudes.

Sunday's gratitude is about music. I love music and am grateful for the calling I have in my ward to conduct. It stretches me. It's not something I'm comfortable with in public. I can do it fine when I don't feel I'm being watched -- but what conductor is not watched? I'm grateful for the time to improve this skill and also to be the one to help bring the spirit into our meeting with the hymns we sing.

Today's gratitude is education. As I sit at home today and work with my 7 year old I am grateful that I have this time with her. We have struggles, but I have been given the ability to help see what she needs as a student and to work with those individually. So many times as a classroom teacher I would notice things and just not have the time and resources to do justice to 25 individuals. It was sad to me as a teacher and mother. I am grateful that right now my daughter has just one student to wait on -- herself. I am grateful for a home schooled education and for the blessing of being able to instill values into our curriculum that align with principles we hold to. Each day we speak of knowledge and why it is so important. Each day we are blessed to spend the day learning together. I am grateful for this.

Today's Gratitude 7-8-9

I thought maybe today would be a good day to start out the day catching up on gratitudes. I've got a lot on my plate at the shop and need to focus there. I'm afraid if I put this off, not only will my gratitudes be behind but so will my Walk with Christ project. The latter is much easier to let linger as the extra days have benefited that project. However, for me to truly find 365 days of gratitude -- I need to stay on top of that.

I've noticed around the web that there are several of these projects out there -- one that for scrappers (like me) has you taking a picture of the daily gratitude to accompany the thought. This seems like an awesome project (maybe for next year -- this year's life is crowded).

Gratitude number 7/365 - I would find it uncomfortable to live in a world in where I had no person to thank - Rosamunde Pilcher, Winter Solstice (loved this thought - found it on an e-mail today.)

Gratitude 8/365 - Fridays! I'm grateful today that it is Friday (now I need to remember I used this one once. I want a different gratitude each day - no reruns!!!). Even though the shop is open tomorrow and its not really the beginning of a relaxing weekend. It is the day that my dd and I kick back after work with a pile of food and a movie. Fondly referred to as "Camp-out Night" where we eat on the picnic blanket and sleep on the picnic blanket and watch movies until we drop off from exhaustion. I started this tradition a few years ago when funds were tight and we needed a 'weekend' feel to life. It has become special to all of us -- maybe more so now that we are just the two of us. Today's gratitude is being grateful for Friday, for camp-out night and for special time with my daughter.

Gratitude 9/365 - This is my gratitude for today (being current now -- and actually having to deal with this as I write) talkative 7 year olds. Even though she's often off track and not focused on what she is supposed to be doing, it is a delight to hear the sound of her voice. Her childlike voice and chatter will not be around long. At 7 I can already see the interests begin to change. I need to remember, in moments of frustration, that these days will one day be forever gone from me and to be grateful for this time. To live each moment with intent. To appreciate childhood more and to record the details so that when the days are long gone I will always have the memories to hold dear and warm me.

Walk Day 3 - Grattitude Day 5/6

I knew I was going to get behind. Yesterday we had bad weather and my dh was working virtually from my store. Trying to be contemplative with extra people around was a bit challenging on top of business and home school. Let's see where today takes me....

Gratitude - for yesterday (Day 5 of 365): Yesterday I was thankful for time with my son. He stopped by on his way home from work. It is kinda fun to have him be mobile now (with his own car) and be able to be blessed with visits from him and time with him. One day he'll be off on his own and each one of these times is precious to me.

Walk Day #2:
QUESTION: Am I seeking Christ's help? - The only way I know -- pray, pray and pray some more!!

READ:
Proverbs 3:5-6 - this is the trust in the Lord with all thy heart scripture. I like to take this one step further to verse 7: "Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil." What great counsel, to trust in the lord and humble yourself and not lean on your own wisdom. This doesn't mean that you don't have value or ability -- but more it means that we need to lean upon the Lord for guidance and direction. Decisions make without the help of the Lord do not typically take us where He wants us to go.

2 Coringthians 12:9-10 -- Verse 10 ("Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.") is especially meaningful to me. In the past few years I have been tested and know this scripture to be very helpful. It is not always easy to bear trials and testing. Often times the natural man asks 'Why me?" Some of my testing took me down that path. It wasn't easy to pray myself to the point where my weaknesses where becoming strenghts. Some where along the path I realized the pains where not what they used to be. The lessons became teaching moments and testimony builders. Faith increased.

Jacob 4:7 - "Nevertheless, the Lord God showeth us our weakness that we may know that it is by his grace, and his great condescensions unto the children of men, that we have power to do these things." Again -- good priniciple to hang on to when trials are working you and molding you to what the Lord wants you to become.

Ether 12:27 - "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Probably one of our more quoted scriptures from the Book of Mormon on this principle. The path is clear here; 1. Come unto Christ 2. To be shown your weakness and be humbled 3. To recieve grace when you humble yourself 4. To have faith and to increase in faith 5. To be made strong through your weaknesses.

PONDER:
How can the Lord help me to overcome my weaknesses? As I look at the shortcomings and stumbling blocks I face now -- and place them at the feet of the Savior, my prayer is that He will show me what I need to learn and where He wants me to grow. My prayer is that I do not just suppose on my own, but truly seek to learn His will -- and then be willing to follow it.


Today's Gratitude: (Day 6 of 365 -- yes I know I'm behind...one of these day I'll add in one here and there and catch up ;) ) Forgiveness - both giving and receiving it. Learning to be humble enough to ask for it and also being gracious enough to give it when asked of you. I think as much gratitude as I need to feel, I also need to feel a stronger need to forgive and seek forgiveness for little things that happen each day.

A 14 Day Walk

Today in my quest for a peaceable walk I will begin a 14 day walk with Christ program. It might take me longer than 14 days with my business and home schooling, but I will get it done and record my processes here.

Here is the objectives for Day 1:
QUESTION: How can I follow in His steps?
READ: 1 Peter 2:21, Abraham 1:2, Moroni 7:48
PONDER: How can I follow in Christ's steps today?

Answer: Following in his steps today means trying to be like him, Christ-like, in all my interactions with my children and family. Today, as I interact with my 8 year old, I will imagine a sticker on her that reads " I am a Child of God."

1 Peter 2:21 -- '...Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps.."

Abraham 1:2 - "And finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the for the blessings of the fathers...desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge and to be a greater follower of righteousness and to possess greater knowledge..."

Moroni 7:48 - "Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

Ponder: How can I follow in Christ's steps today? My short answer is to have more charity this day. The long answer will have to be posted later as I do want to ponder what it means to follow in Christ's steps.


Today's gratitude: Today I am grateful to be home with my children, especially to have time wiht my son as this is a blessing that will soon come to be few and far between as his life expands and reached out into the world.

On a More Serious Note...

As I stated previously, one of the goals I want to accomplish on my mission to establish a peaceable walk is to incorporate quotes and thoughts about peace. Here's mine for today, January 3, 2009:

"We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace." ~William Ewart Gladstone

The love of power -- wow! Now that is something to ponder today. What have I done this day that has been done in that spirit rather than in the spirit of love and its power? I'm wondering if it was when I was upset at my husband, who seems to want my attention on his time-table, but when I asked for some from his today and didn't get it -- I was not as gracious and kind as I should have been with my disappointment. I must apologize for that.

Note to self - pay closer attention to how you apply love of power over power of love in your interactions with others.

Today's gratitude (day 3 of 365): Gratefully today I was reminded about the use of love and power and its proper application and value.

My 2009 Horoscope

Ok -- so I know this is not real in the sense of what I align with as truth, but there are some fun thoughts and it gives me a bit of a chuckle.

Year 2009 Overview - for Sagittarius
You tend to attract just about everything you want this year through your warmth and magnetic Sagittarian That said, you may also go through some great transformational shifts in 2009 as you realize that your happiness no longer depends so much on possessions, but rather on the deeper meaning associated with things symbolic of love and sharing. Instead of controlling what's happening around you, you now have experiences that perhaps you don't understand, but in allowing new insights to come in and have a voice, the rearranging of your resources and your values gives you a sense of security and growth.
By surrendering to your higher power, you realize you don't have to struggle as much to get what you want. As you open up to the ideas and energies flowing around you, your priorities shift dramatically. And -- you'll be happy to know -- you don't need to work as hard to enjoy sensual pleasures either!
Great opportunities arise as your explore your potential, and discover what kind of environment best serves you in your endeavors. Being in touch with this part of yourself helps you align with your higher purpose, and your drive to continue will lead to great success. Life becomes much easier when you trust that the universe will take care of you.