Keep Calm and Carry On

Life is anything but calm these days so I had to chuckle at the sign I saw in the store yesterday while shopping for a few things for the house. The sign was a large canvas piece painted pink. Front and center was a crown, through the crown, flowing across the board was the statement; 'Keep Calm -- And Carry On'

I love this. I love anything that speaks of clamness. Especially these days. Especially in the latter-days that seem to be showing its signs everywhere. For some time, I have lived a particular type of chaos. The kind where the Adversary stirs contention in the hearts of man. In my case, its the man(men) within my home. Its subtle at first, as will all his shenanigans. Then like a blow to the gut you realize a serious crisis has occurred and your foundation is shaken. Suddenly a craving for peace and for calmness becomes the main focus of daily life.

In times like this you turn to the only source of peace, the Savior, Jesus Christ.

The words to this hymn express my feelings perfectly:

Be Still My Soul
1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, b. 1697;
trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1813-1897

A Disturbance in the Force!

I think that is what you call it when one of your children get married and you aren't quite ready for it to happen.

Weddings, though stressful by nature, are supposed to be grand occassions full of excitement, hope and a fulfillment of dreams. My recent experience with a wedding was not one of this nature. It left me a bit unsettled (hence the disturbance) and concerned. It has also given me a grand opportunity to pray and to apply some principles of faith for this dear child of mine and his new bride.

Before I go on confusing anyone I want to state that my son's wife is a darling young lady that I grew to love quickly. It didn't take long in our getting aquainted period for me to cause her a few bumps due to my beliefs and values and hopes for my son and the differences she and I share. She's been forebearing and I pray forgiving. My desire is for her happiness as well as my son's.

The fact of the matter is, marriage is one of our greatest life challenges. You hope that amid those challenges come many blessings and joys. I want that for both of these sweet young people. I see already how the differences of these two lives have the potential for difficulty. My prayer is that the tests of life will make them stronger and more in love than the day they married.

I hope, that after some time what has caused a disturbance for me will settle in too. I read a sign the other day that speaks to me (I'll paraphrase and hope to run across the author at some point to give proper credit) 'Its not going the distance that is difficult, but that first step into the unknown.' I hope this is the case for all of us as we go into this next season of life.

Disconnected From.....

Six months to the day since the last time I spoke to my friend Regina and today I run across and e-mail from her. What a weird and disconnected sort of feeling that stirred up.

I've just recently gotten to the place where I can drive home from work and not turn to look and wonder if she's home when I pass by her former street.

I'm still not over the sudden reflection of her in a person that resembles her as I wander through a store while shopping. Weird huh? No one actually looks 'like' her, but something suddenly overcomes me. Something suddenly parts our two dimensions of time and we connect.

This might be weird, except that I consider myself a spiritual person; one not unfamiliar with help and connections from beyond the veil. It always takes me by surprise and I doubt that even those more in tune than I are ever prepared for such an experience. I'm still trying to learn what to do with these experiences.

I've noticed something else -- even though time has progressed along; meaning that six months have passed since the death of my dear friend. It is a very slow passage and the sense and feel of time has changed for me with this loss. Its peculiar and causes me again to sense a disconnection from ..... ????

These past six months have been the most difficult for me personally. Some of my greatest trials have taken place during these past months. With Regina gone I feel lost and have no one to confide in and counsel with. I've no one to go to the temple with and talk about deeper things.

There have been so many times when I've wanted to see if her phone would pick up if I called the number or if an e-mail would be replied to if I sent one alone. Though our realms are separated we have not and it is a pecular thing to experience this so frequently.

What do I do with this?

The Most Un-Peaceful Kind of Phone Call

Here's the scene --

You are out on a Saturday afternoon, running errands when the phone rings. On the other end is your son, his voice is unsteady and fearful. The words he is telling you are already registering panic in you and adrenalin begins to flow. It went like this for me; "Mom, mom, help, help, I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding, I'm ok, but I don't know what to do. My GF is hurt and ....." I'm not even sure it all registered. Certainly the part about him bleeding did and my heart sank, my hands started to shake and my little dd in the back seat started to cry. I was trying to focus on my driving and the words my brain wasn't totally registering and wait...think....I needed to tell him what to do. Call 911.

It was the kind of afternoon phone call a mom never wants to get. Suddenly what was a peaceful day at work and a little playful afternoon shopping with my dd turned into major panic.

I don't know if it is age and the passing of time or the blessing of this determination to be peaceful that made the difference for me that day (I think the latter). Surely there was enough emotion inside me and fear to make me go over the edge. Maybe it was trying to keep it under control for my dd. Another blessing, was the presence of mind (AKA a message from the Spirit) to call my DH. Not really knowing what I might be getting myself into once we got to where this family gathering that ran amuk was being held, I had to make sure my dd and I had protection, and help if necessary.

Another blessing; when we arrived the local authorities were there and my ds was up/walking around, bleeding stopped. Relief! (I could only imagine the scene I might encounter). He was out in a rural area, emergency services were far away, he was not with people of faith, and so anything could have happened in that environment. It wasn't pretty. I could tell he had a broken nose, but his face was in tact. More relief, and gratitude.

It took some time to convince him to come with me to get it looked at. There was an ambulence on the way -- we waited for that, but determined we could pass on those bills and take him ourselves as he was mobile enough.

Now a couple days later, as we deal with the medical issues and pain from the trauma, I am wondering what I can do to teach and assist this young, sometimes cavalier and impulsive spirit to learn to make better choices. To learn to seek out peace in his life and choose peaceable company to keep.

I am grateful for answered prayers, mostly those offered by my little dd while I was on the phone and trying to drive up and down hilly country roads to get to my injured son. I am grateful that issues didn't escalate and damage was minimal, under the circumstancs. I am grateful that peace and calmness came to me at a very unpeaceful time. Mosly, I am grateful for the knowledge that I know this place is a temporary home and should I loose someone precious to me I have the knowledge that their spirit would go home to a place of peace and to Father in Heaven. I am grateful, that this time, this trial, did not require that or require too much suffering. (I'm just not so sure we are out of the woods with this ds.)

Whithersoever

'And they went forth whitersoever they were led by the Spirit of the Lord," Alma 21:16


The voice of my friend came to me in a dream last night that left me shaken as I became aware of her voice. I don't often receive messages in dreams, but it isn't my first either. I'm still trying to figure it all out. Later this morning in my study time I came across this scripture in Alma which has given me great pause and added to my experience.

'They went forth whithersoever they were led by the Spirit.'

Often times I don't want to do what I am doing now. I often feel as though I'm stuck in a place that will never bring me peace or joy. I long for someone who enjoys the scriptures and the words of the prophets as I do. I long for companionship that has its roots deeply planted in the ways of Christ. I need to be more like Mary who said; '...be it done to me according to your word.'

I know my ways are not the Lord's. I know that I cannot possibly know what he knows. Yet still, I long for more, for something that will help me go whithersoever along this path more faithfully and with less longing and emptyness.


Reading further...there is a promise Alma 21:17 "And it came to pass that the Lord began to bless them."

If I can learn more fully to connect these too maybe then I can find the strenght.

Peace - The Loss of a Friend

It has taken me a month to be able to get a grip on how to record the details of this friend in my life. It was a month ago tonight that I met with a group of sisters to prepare this dear friend to be laid to rest. A sacred experience that cannot be told here. Tomorrow will be a month that her body has been resting in its earthly holding place. Yet I know for a month now her spirit as soarn above the clouds and has been in a place of joy. That is peace.

Take a look at this you tube. If I was more talented I would build a memorial to her. All I can do is video-lift, if you will, one that speaks to me -- of her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVq2khzam2g

10,000 Miles -By Mary Chapin Carpenter
Re-told by me:

Fare thee well, my dear true friend
Farewell for a while
I'm going away but I'll be back
Though I go ten thousand miles

Ten thousand miles
My dear true friend
Ten thousand miles or more

The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return

Oh, don't you see that lonesome dove
Sitting on an ivy tree
She's weeping for her dear friend
As I shall weep for mine

Oh, come ye back, my dear true friend
And stay a while with me
If I had a friend at all on this earth
You've been a friend to me


Fare thee well Dear Friend!

A New Year - A New Thought!

The greatest need of this old world today is peace. The turbulent storms of hate, of enmity, of distrust, and of sin are threatening to wreck humanity. It is time for men—true men—to dedicate their lives to God, and to cry with the spirit and power of the Christ, ‘Peace, be still…. ‘ (Mark 4:39.)” (David O. McKay, Gospel Ideals, p.295).