Broken, leaky washers and old cars that over heat and have a hundred things wrong with them are not on my list of peaceable items to seek after.
During the past several months we've been dealing with what started out as a crack in a hose on my old truck. We have babied her along now 22 years. It still amazes me to think about it -- but its a Nissan -- what can I say ;)! Aside from a few small minor personal items, this is the biggest piece of property that I've kept for this length of time. While discussing what to do with the dead thing (aside from the appropriate old vehicle funeral ;) ) we determined that I don't have to make my mind up for a year an a half (tee hee!! that is the length of time I have left on the tags). Why did I buy two year plates anyway? Sheesh!! Its been weird not to see it parked in front of the house. It has been a part of my life for so long now. Like an old friend -- isn't that silly.
We do have emotional ties to our vehicles. Lots of memories of family trips, long personal drives to no where when I was sad or lonely. Memories of my son and I driving around in it when he was a little boy. He would be pretending to drive and I'd reach over and yank on his pretend stearing wheel to make him crash. We'd laugh and laugh.
I remember a time when my son was small. We would put his car seat in the center poition on the bench seat. Hubby and I crammed in on either side of him. This one particular day, with feet and legs a bit longer and stronger, he reached out and kicked at the wiper arm and broke it in two. My husband was quite upset about it. We repaired it and weren't the worse for wear. From that point on we kept a vigil on the little guys legs/feet when the three of us were traveling together.
For most of my married life, this was the 'good car.' It is no wonder a lot of our memories involve trips in it. If our little daughter hadn't have come along I am sure this separation and loss would be much bigger. I would not have had the need to get a 'family car' and hand my litle pickup over to my husband to use as the 'commute vehicle.'
Life is full of bumps. I don't even want to go into the one about the washer. Right now I'm crossing my fingers big time that that lurking third deamon won't ever appear. I was visiting on the the phone with a friend this morning discussing theories. We had a big laugh over our mutual theory that these break-downs happen in threes. We've had the car, the washer and we are waiting...........
This same friend this morning in her comforting way told me she was so sorry I was having all these frustrations. I blew it off at the time, but the reality is, I am not frustrated by it. It is a bump, its not fun. I am praying there isn't that third one -- but I am not wrapped in knots as I have been during other trials.
I have come to find peace in life and to not let trials wind me up. I've not always been this way and I have to say -- this is freeing. Worry was my contant companion. Plaguing questions of 'what will we do?' would be asked in my mind over and over and over.....to upset stomaches and testy bowels. Worry does affect you physically too. Stress isn't good on your health. At times depression would set in. The bigger the trial the more the depression and the more the pain. It was a vicious cycle.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still concerned about how we are going to arrange our money to buy a commute car. Times are hard now with the change in the political and economical scene. Loans are hard to come by now and we still have a bit of time left on one car payment. This trial is all about faith. But faith should help comfort and bring peace. This is my lesson for the month...and my gratitude.
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