In my faith we speak often of being a happy people. I have often pondered about that when life can be so difficult and challenging. My walk through marriage has not been an easy one, nor has it been particularly happy. However, I have felt that one of my greatest gifts is that I do have a sense of joy and well being within myself. As a rule, I don't wake up mad or grumpy. I do have off days, from time to time, but that is not the norm for me. I can get on a soap box, for sure, or get upset at some injustice I feel. I can confidently say, the majority of people I come into contact with do not know when I am hurting or struggling. I don't wear my emotions on the outside to draw attention to my life's struggles. I know people like that and feel compassion for how life gets to them and in the same moment feel gratitude that that stumbling block is not my callenge. I just find happiness illusive in marriage and wonder what is wrong and why it is constantly this way.
Still.....I will continue on and try to give honor to my Father in Heaven and to those in my stewardships and to continue in gratitude all the days of my life. I may not ever get this walk right in this life. Thankfully I do not have to be perfect here -- only willing to try and to continue to do better.
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